7 Types of Tea That Are Better Listened to Than Your Therapist

First, let’s get one thing straight. If your tea could talk, it’d probably outperform your therapist. And for a fraction of the price, thank you very much. Here are the 7 types of tea that not only taste better than despair but give you advice worth listening to.

1. Chamomile Calm: This isn’t just tea; it’s a warm hug in a cup. Forgot your therapist’s babble about breathing exercises. A sip of this, and you’ll be too Zen to give a damn. It whispers, “Chill, those emails can wait until tomorrow.”

2. Peppermint Pep-Talk: Need a kick in the rear? This is it. Peppermint doesn’t mess around. It’s the mentholated truth serum that says, “Get up, dress up, show up, and never give up.” Feeling refreshed takes on a whole new meaning.

3. Green Tea Guru: The wise old sage of the tea world. It doesn’t just detox your body; it detoxes your soul. With every sip, it’s doling out ancient wisdom like, “To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life.” Yeah, take that, self-help books.

4. Ginger Snap-Back to Reality: When life gives you lemons, ginger tea says, “Add some of me and make it spicy.” It’s the bold comeback you need, the slap of reality brewed to perfection, reminding you that yes, you can handle the heat.

5. Earl Grey Enlightenment: More than just a breakfast companion, it’s a philosophical debate in a teapot. A sip of Earl Grey serves nostalgic wisdom with a side of bergamot-scented enlightenment, nudging you to ponder life’s great questions, like “To be or not to be caffeinated?”

6. Rooibos Resilience: The underdog of teas, hearty, robust, and full of heart. Each cup is a testament to resilience, whispering, “Tough times don’t last, but tough people do.” Drink this, and you’ll feel ready to arm-wrestle your anxieties.

7. Oolong Odyssey: The marathon runner of the tea world. Oolong says, “Life’s a marathon, not a sprint,” teaching you the art of patience. Because sometimes, the best things—like this tea—take their sweet time to develop.

So, there you have it. Next time you’re feeling off-kilter, skip the pricey couch session and brew a pot of perspective. Your therapist might have a degree, but these teas have centuries of wisdom steeped into them. Plus, they’re much better listeners.