You’ve read the self-help books, you’ve listened to the podcasts, you’ve even attended that workshop where they made you hug a tree. But you’re still not feeling it. Not really embracing every gloriously flawed inch of your being. Fear not, for we have concocted the ultimate guide to radical self-love, laden with an unhealthy dose of sarcasm, just like your favorite avocado toast – expensive, slightly overrated, but ultimately good for the soul.
Table of Contents
1. Start Your Day With a Mirror Pep Talk
Wake up, stumble to the mirror, look deeply into your own bleary, half-awake eyes, and lay it on thick. “You are a fearless, unstoppable force of nature,” you’ll say to your reflection, ignoring the toothpaste stains on your shirt. This isn’t just about building self-confidence; it’s about convincing yourself that yes, you can dominate the world in your pajamas.
2. Curate Your Social Media to Only Include Dogs
Your self-esteem doesn’t need the kind of negativity that comes from scrolling through pictures of people having a seemingly better time than you. Unfollow humans. This is the year of the dog (every year can be the year of the dog with the right attitude). Their carefree frolicking and tail-wagging joy is the only vibe you need.
3. Declutter Your Life of Joyless Objects
Marie Kondo? Never heard of her. We’re not just talking about sparking joy; we’re talking about starting a bonfire. That pen that doesn’t work? Gone. The guilt-inducing exercise bike? Sell it and buy more comfortable pajamas. It’s about creating a space where every single object reminds you of how unabashedly fabulous you are.
4. Develop an Obsession with Plants
Not only do they oxygenate your room, making it easier to breathe under the weight of your awesomeness, but they’re also the only roommates who won’t judge you for talking to yourself. Start conversations. Apologize to them for not being as good at photosynthesis. Bond.
5. Create a Playlist of Power Ballads to Shower To
There’s nothing quite like the acoustics of a shower cubicle to truly appreciate your own vocal talents. Belt out those power ballads. Show yourself some love by giving a concert that your neighbors will ‘appreciate’ at seven in the morning. Every rendition of “I Will Always Love Me” is a step closer to radical self-love.
6. Practice Saying ‘No’ to Plans Without Feeling Guilty
Your couch needs you. Your bed appreciates your presence. Start valuing your own company by turning down plans without following it up with a convoluted excuse. “No, thanks, I’m spending the night with my favorite person – me,” is a perfectly valid response.
7. Take Yourself Out on Dates
Yes, table for one, please. Revel in the discomfort of the waiter as they try to hide their pity. Order the most extravagant dish. Ask for a wine pairing. Dessert? Why not; you’re on a date, after all. This is about enjoying your own company, in the most awkward way possible.
8. Talk to Yourself Like You Would to a Cherished Friend
Be kind. Forgive yourself for not being able to keep a succulent alive. Encourage yourself like you would your best friend after their third failed attempt at sourdough bread. You both know it’s not going to work out, but it’s the thought that counts.
9. Volunteer as a Way to Feel Good About Yourself
Nothing says “I love myself” like using your time to help others. It’s scientifically proven that doing good makes you feel good. Plus, it gives you a legitimate reason to humble-brag on social media. “Just spent my afternoon rescuing kittens and teaching them to read. #Blessed.”
10. End Your Day With a Gratitude Journal
Before bed, jot down all the things you’re thankful for. Entries can range from “I’m grateful for my ability to eat an entire pizza by myself” to “I’m thankful that my plants haven’t given up on me yet”. It’s all about finding joy in the little things – including your fabulous self.
In the pursuit of radical self-love, remember, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Unless, of course, you don’t like running. In that case, it’s more like a leisurely stroll through a park you’ve personally dedicated to your greatness.